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Often, it is in these last few days of December that we look back at the crooked path we’ve worn throughout the year. It’s also in this season when we feel grateful for every chuckle, snort, giggle and guffaw that this year brought our way, when we remember the kindred souls who took in our words, understood from their own perspectives, and gave us advice and comfort.

Our learning then becomes enhanced, and using the same past, we can plan for the near future’s bite-sized portions.

Weighted down but ready, we bring our bricks and baggage to pave a perfectly patterned road ahead. But then we have to acknowledge the fact that shift happens and we can’t plan it away.

As always, the earth shifts, cracks occur and we start to stumble; yearly, wearily living along another winding path. We can make scenarios and contingencies, but we just can’t be sure as there is simply no way to chart the changes that come along.

♠

The two words that have repeatedly ran to me during this beautiful and bumpy year? Too much. They creep in as I over fill my to-do lists. Without fail, the end of the day arrives and I’m shaking my head when I anticipate the items that are still not off the day after.

The two words pop up as well when I ponder the expectations people have on me and when I think on how I should work to disallow them to crash around my feet. (Prayers are a big help with contiguous breathing for calmness.)

It’s also in these last days of the year that we let go of the mindset of excess. The least [and best] we can do? Leave as much baggage as that can be left, to feel lighter and happier as we wander across the rest of the next pages of the calendar. We lace up our marching shoes (and perhaps we’d be walking the same paths together).

We ask God every day, “What are You going to do today that will blow my mind away?” For whatever it is, we just have to keep our faith strong and believe–for He may choose the least promising for us but in truth preparing us to be the best.

♠

I could wait until January first, the New Year’s Day, for the release of this announcement. But since this is my final post for the year, I’d want it to be extra special, one that would make a mark of another milestone.

Over 50 people already know this but the rest of the world also has a privilege to know.

I’ll be going back to the Philippines for good on March 13, 2012.

Enjoy the holidays!

What is Help-Portrait? 

Rooted from the US, Help-Portrait is a non-profit organization composed of photographers coming together across the globe (54 countries) to use their photography skills and give back to the less fortunate (those who didn’t have their photos taken for the longest time, some even since the day they were born)–on the same day, December 10.

Help-Portrait Singapore was established two years ago, but it was only this year when the group had realized the mission successfully. And I’m just so happy to be part of it. I’m not a photographer or videographer but I helped with my own special way.

You see, people in the pictures would not appear as beautiful without me. 😛 I was the hairstylist sans professional training, experience or expertise–but with a certified caring heart. ♥

As the assigned lead hairstylist (walau-eh!), I considered the angles of people’s faces (of different ages, races and countenances) and the texture of their hair matched with the limited products and props I brought. Hard work was paved off when I saw smiles of people fully satisfied of the designs I creatively concocted.

My “clienteles” in Singapore Council of Women’s Organisations were mostly women, while all were men in Breakthrough Missions except for the wife of one resident.

Funny was when a number of them thought and commented that I was a pro, maybe because I extolled much confidence and downright shammed that I knew (and sure of) what I was doing. But, oh my gosh! It was my first time to ever groomed people’s hair other than my sister’s and mother’s. I felt rewarded with their compliments and also with the amazing and inspiring life stories they have shared with me.

I witnessed them received their printed photos with a glint in their eyes. True enough, every photo illustrated a sketch of humanity. It would be an item they’d cherish for the rest of their lives, as it mirrored both (a) the joy they had when they welcomed our help and got pampered; and (b) their self-image making up for all the pain, survival and hardship they have surpassed.

Once again, I have earned an involvement with such great exposure. I’ve met wonderful people and saw residents in the shelters in a different light. We volunteers worked through day until night. We were bone-tired yet lit with hope; we’re grateful that we had been spared and motivated to help those who had not been as blessed.

Now I’m excited for the release of post-processed photos and video documentations of the event. Stay tuned for the news and update by visting their website.

Ever had the feeling of running so fast as if you were floating and you couldn’t feel even your legs?

Metaphorically, that’s what I’ve been feeling for many months now. I feel like being one of  His many experiments who stand alone in rehearsed crowds lost in a maze of widowed daydreams, trying to find tomorrow with transient eyes shut to the reality of yesterday.

I feel like living a dream; I am asleep, with my mind awake wandering around and just trying to stand strong against the inertia of time. Sometimes I ask, why am I here; what am I doing here; how can I surive the next day?

It is when I lock myself inside my room and when I am all alone at night that I can open my mind to think about all these. This is when I not only see but recognize that I am just one of the many questions which camouflage as the answer trying to find a way out.

My mental freedom is being held hostage by the knowledge inside the cages of isolated thoughts.

I see things like domino blocks in slow motion. When all pieces are congruent and positioned in the right places, they begin to tumble down from one to the rest. When I’m fed up, all I do is pray and wait, with pools of salty tears mixed to make an ocean that drowns myself in. But in most times, my utmost patience still drives me to hope.

Let me share with you a quoted story of the Four Candles, which have been imparted with significance by our church’s network coaches:

There are four candles.

The first candle said, “I Am Peace, but these days, nobody wants to keep me lit.”
Then Peace’s flame slowly diminished and went out completely.

The second candle said, “I Am Faith, but these days, I am no longer indispensable.”
Then Faith’s flame slowly diminished and went out completely.

Sadly the third candle spoke, “I Am Love and I haven’t the strength to stay lit any longer.”
“People put me aside and don’t understand my importance. They even forget to love those who are nearest to them.” And waiting no longer, Love went out completely.

Suddenly, a child saw the three candles no longer burning, he cried and said they’re supposed to stay lit until the end.

Then the fourth candle spoke gently to the little boy, “Don’t be afraid, for I Am Hope, and while I still burn, we can re-light the other candles.”

With shining eyes, the child took the candle of hope and lit the other three candles.

Moral:Never let the flame of hope go out. With hope in your life, no matter how bad things may be, peace, faith and love may shine brightly once again.

Hope can be found everywhere. It’s just not bottled and packaged precisely the way we want it to be. And with hope, we say thanks.

Thanks to Almighty God for all His blessings and mercies toward us throughout the year.

Thanks for people who broke and tore us down,
who hated us, criticized us and stole away air from our lungs,
who supported us, empathized with us, cheered us up and helped us,
who appreciated, loved and cared.

Happy Thanksgiving day!

It’s 11.11.11 and early on at midnight, I read my Twitter feeds flooded with mushy, special wishes for today and angst towards (again) the end of the world. Keeping on with the trend, if ever I’d still be awake to catch the time at 11:11 tonight, I will use my default wish: I wish for love, positivity and good health for my family, friends and myself.

But I neither think nor feel that there is power in numerology and that there is meaning that accounts for certain dates in the calendar. By contrast, I believe in living each day as if it were our last and praying every day on our hopes.

As we’re now more technology-oriented, I’ve figured a better way to combat anxieties and remind us how to deal with life whenever interruptions of our day-to-day operations occur. Don’t ever commit suicide and just hit the Escape key but CTRL+ALT+DEL.

CTRL (Control): Take control of your life, take 100% responsibility and clearly understand what you want.

ALT (Alternate): Look for alternatives to get different results. See things with a different perspective, a positive one.

DEL (Delete): Delete all negativity in your life including attitudes and habits that are not working for you.

Remember that when the world starts to fade and the fiery reds burn to ash and you can’t see the colors anymore, understand that it’s not the world that’s fading—but you that’s standing in the light.

I’m so excited that I couldn’t sleep well last night. I think I just slept for five or six hours. I’m not sure of what I’m more excited about: Louie fetching me at the airport or seeing my family for the first time personally after nine months! You do the guessing. 🙂

Both can be right, so just give yourself a thumbs up for trying to guess either.

Nine months of not living with my family (meaning not having anyone to cook, do laundry and iron clothes for me but myself) was like being in a mother’s womb or cave but this time, my metamorphosis into becoming a more organized, more patient, more disciplined, more experienced worldlier and better person became fuller.

Yes, living alone in a foreign country provided me the avenue to learn how to become  independent, self-trusting and more sociable (because in order to adapt, understand and learn others’ ways, I need to always communicate with them).

I’m a jotter, with the days of my life penned on these [web] pages minutely detailed and written meticulously. However this time, I have a feeling that my next few days in Manila cannot be described in coherent sentences, and my feelings expressed through pictures will do them better justice. When words seem to fail and fall through me, photographs will not. Photos will be posted on Facebook. Wee!