Author: Rochkirstin Santos-Sioco

“Sitting the Month,” 坐月子 (zuo yue zi), or Po Ge Lai is a month-long Chinese way of postpartum healing. It’s a traditional way of caring for postpartum mothers which takes a period of one month. Throughout this first month after delivery of the baby, it’s believed that the mom should follow (or endure) confinement practices for the body to recover properly and optimally. However, this often comes with a barrage of advice, some of which may be outdated or misconstrued. In this blog post, let’s explore some common sayings related to “ge lai” and shed light on the misconceptions surrounding them.

Traditional (Common Belief) vs. Modern Insights (Reality) on Po Ge Lai

According to Chinese traditional medicine experts, giving birth depletes a woman’s energy (Qi) and blood. Breastfeeding, while nourishing for the baby, adds another layer of depletion as the mother creates a vital food source. This state of depletion makes rest and nutritious food imperative for proper healing. Here are some common beliefs or myths and realistic suggestions on po ge lai:

1. Brushing Teeth:
– Common Belief: Don’t brush your teeth; it can damage them.
– Reality: Dental hygiene is crucial during confinement. Rinsing with warm water and gentle brushing, especially for those with gum issues, is recommended.

2. Bed Rest:
– Common Belief: Rest as much as possible; avoid getting out of bed.
– Reality: Excessive standing or sitting for extended periods can impact hormonal metabolism, so moderate walking is recommended for a balanced body and mind. Mothers can start moving around soon after delivery, enjoying sunlight for enhanced recovery. Resting is better than doing strenuous activities though to facilitate faster recuperation.

3. No Hair Washing or No Bathing:
– Common Belief: Avoid washing hair or taking a shower.
– Reality: Regular showers are okay, with precautions for those who had a caesarean section. But the suggested practice is to avoid contact with cold water to prevent joint pain; opt for warm water instead. Hair can be washed but should be dried through a hair blower immediately afterwards.

4. Dietary Considerations:
– Common Belief: Avoid condiments; focus on eggs and stews. Avoid raw or cold fruits and vegetables; focus on meat. Avoid consuming cold foods such as tomatoes, grapefruit, and watermelon during confinement. Don’t drink water.
– Reality / Suggestions:
– The diet during this period is carefully curated with nutritious meals, including special soups believed to enhance milk supply.
– As with anything, moderation is key. While eggs are nutritious, a balanced diet with fresh fruits and vegetables is essential for postpartum well-being.
– Cook all food items before consumption, steering clear of raw options.
– Fresh fruits and vegetables are essential for both mother and baby’s health during breastfeeding.
– Drink tea and hot beverages.

5. Emotional Expression:
– Common Belief: You can’t cry. You can’t be stressed. You can’t get sad or be angry. Maintain a stable and cheerful mood throughout the confinement period.
– Reality: Emotional stability is vital. Uncontrolled anger may lead to decreased breast milk secretion.

6. Ventilation / Environment:
– Common Belief: You can’t turn on the air conditioner. Refrain from exposure to wind, whether from air conditioners or electric fans, as it can potentially lead to rheumatoid arthritis, colds, and headaches. Limit outdoor activities, and if unavoidable, ensure complete coverage with hats, clothes, and socks to prevent wind infections.
– Suggestions: Proper ventilation is crucial. Regularly open windows and maintain a temperature of 25-28°C for a healthy environment.

Modern Insights and My Personal Take

I think Po Ge Lai is not a popular practice here in the Philippines, but there are still families that follow strict Chinese tradition and those who also believe in the benefits of confinement. In other countries, especially in China, Hong Kong, and Singapore, there are even postpartum centers with dedicated caregivers and specialists or “confinement nannies” that offer this service and even make it a high-end experience for new mothers.

I watched videos on YouTube showcasing how “po ge lai” nursing staff would treat new moms with such luxury care. Of course, the price tag is also on the expensive side, making it a lucrative business for entrepreneurs. This is a nice option to make sure you’ll be really properly taken care of with strict adherence to the confinement rules in addition of nutritional support and constant supervision in a safe haven.

In modern days, these “po ge lai” experts also shared that there are some adjustments on the rules to accommodate the needs and convenience of women.  The adaptation of traditional practices to modern ways, such as incorporating technology and adjusting to climate conditions, reflects a pragmatic approach to an age-old custom.

This evolution in postpartum care not only addresses concerns about the extreme nature of certain traditions but also emphasizes the importance of flexibility and customization to suit individual needs.

Not being able to prioritize cleanliness is my biggest challenge during the confinement period. In my first week of not washing my hair, for example, I’ve started having dandruff and itchy, irritated scalp. I couldn’t count how many times I prompted myself to search online about the consequences of washing my hair after giving birth on my postpartum well-being.

I thought the prohibition on washing is just too much and I couldn’t help but wonder about the broader implications. I also could not wash even my face so I was just using a cotton pad and a toner to clean my face daily. Sigh.

I read a lot of moms’ stories reflecting on their postpartum journey on reddit. Their diverse perspectives express an intricate balance between tradition and practicality, cultural expectations, and evolving medical knowledge. There’s really no scientific evidence on the benefits of not washing the hair or taking a bath for 30 days.

Where the “no washing of hair” rule could have emerged: Historically, without modern amenities, women faced challenges in keeping warm, especially during confinement. Wet hair in cold conditions could invite illness and disrupt overall circulation. In the absence of sophisticated drying methods, this practice ensured that post-natal women didn’t endure the discomfort of damp hair for extended periods.

Nowadays, we are privileged to have electricity, instant hot water, and advanced appliances. These luxuries grant new mothers the freedom to wash their hair and bathe without the historical constraints. So for me, it’s still best to have a good dental hygiene and body hygiene to maintain cleanliness, adopt a balanced diet, and ensure emotional well-being for a healthy and fulfilling confinement period.

I hope there will be medical practitioners / doctors who will really shed a good light and provide intentional advice and comments on outdated practices.

Wrap Up

Post-natal care, rooted in ancient traditions, often carries nuances that may seem peculiar in contemporary times. As we navigate the delicate balance between tradition and modern conveniences, it’s essential to appreciate the wisdom embedded in these practices but also consider what’s best for us based on intuition and logic. The quirkiness of “po ge lai” dissipates when viewed through the lens of historical context, revealing a blend of cultural wisdom and common-sense solutions for postpartum recovery.

I think through time, there will be broader conversations on redefining Chinese or Eastern traditions of postpartum care in modern societies. Our personal experiences make us ponder more and encourage us to reflect on the value of prioritizing maternal well-being, fostering emotional connections, and embracing a comprehensive approach to support new moms in their unique journeys without having to put themselves into “torture” rather than convenience and what’s practical.

As mentioned in my previous blog, the last stretch of my pregnancy got me all antsy. Baby was taking her sweet time, and I was getting anxious about the whole birthing thing for two reasons: potential complications when going beyond the 40th week and the looming possibility of a cesarean birth (if baby grows even larger by the day).

At the start of my 39th week, I watched YouTube videos on how to speed up labor naturally – you know, the usual suspects like squats, stretches, and some workouts that supposedly will induce labor. I also watched labor video experiences of other birthing moms to prep myself mentally. I felt like I’ve rehearsed the procedure countless of times in my head! 🙂

December 11 rolls around, and I went all-in with a labor-inducing workout in the morning. Louie, my husband, even saw me and laughed at me. I followed the routine from a YouTube video from start to finish and was even more encouraged after reading several comments stating that the workout was very effective for them and helped them induce labor if not on the same day, in a few days after. I also had a prenatal massage in the afternoon and requested the therapist to specifically target the acupressure points for inducing labor.

As evening approached, signs of labor manifested – the urge to poop, frequent urination, lower back pain, super active baby movements, heavier pelvic pressure, nausea, and heavy breathing. I also vomited two times at midnight. So I decided to check in with my obstetrician the next day, and to my surprise, my cervix was already 6cm dilated! Cue the panic and joy – we should get admitted, like, right now! Especially since this is my second baby, labor is expected to progress faster.

On December 12 at 5pm, Louie and I drove back home just to have a quick dinner and a shower. We also grabbed the already packed bags that I prepared a long time ago for the hospital for me and the baby.

Hospital Admission to Labor

At 7pm, we arrived at St. Luke’s Hospital in Quezon City and went straight to the Admissions Department. I presented the admissions form which was already filled out and signed by my doctor. I was asked to wait for 30 minutes because all assessment rooms for labor were fully occupied. When I got a slot, the nurse asked me to just remove my undies and lie on the bed for internal examination by their resident doctor.

The nurse also asked a few questions regarding my pregnancy history, labor symptoms, and my general health profile. The resident doctor checked on me at 8:30pm, and she said my cervix was dilated to 8cm.

The nurse asked me to change into the hospital gown and they wheeled me into the labor room. Originally our plan was for me to be with my husband in the high-risk pregnancy unit. Unfortunately, however, all HRPUs were occupied and a room would be available on a first-come-first-served basis only when a birthing mom would go on to the delivery room for delivery. The nurse said there’s no assurance on when that would happen because labor may take a while (more than 24 hours) for some moms.

I ended up in a slightly rowdy ward with eight other moms in labor. It was like a symphony of pain and sounds behind those curtains. It’s because we’re not really too far apart from one another. I could also hear them rate their pains about 7-10 when asked by the nurses. When it was my turn to answer, at 8cm, I said I don’t feel pain so maybe at most 1-2 since I could feel the contractions anyway.

Fast forward to 9:30pm. The nurse told me to walk through the corridor to speed up labor. I asked to be with my husband for moral support and he was allowed to go in. We called my family to report my status.

My doctor reached the hospital at 10pm. She performed an IE and my cervix was still dilated at 8cm so she advised to give me oxytocin and called the anesthesiologist for my epidural. Though I could not feel pain yet, she said once labor progresses I might already feel the pain so it would be better to have the epidural now than later. I already signed the consent form and was prepped for the epidural.

At around 11pm, the anesthesiologist came in and they wheeled me into the operation room. I was positioned into a “C” with my back arching outwards for the needle. After about 15 minutes, I started feeling cold and could not control my shaking. The anesthesiologist said it is just a normal effect.

She did the skin test and checked if I could feel her hand touching my arm. I said yes. On my feet and legs, I started feeling a little numb. Then they moved me back to the labor room. It was already at 11:45pm when the resident doctor performed another IE on me and said that the baby is already positioned in station zero.

We had to wait for another hour before my doctor did another IE and said we’re all set and ready for delivery. The baby was at station 2 and I was already fully dilated. At last! The only pain I could feel was the cramping on my upper right leg. It was tolerable and it was also good since I could take it as a sign when contractions would come in.

My eyes were also fixated on the digital clock and I observed that my contractions went from 5 minutes apart to 4 to 3 and 2 before I was transferred to the delivery room.

Since I found it hard to move the lower part of my body, we had to wait for two men helpers to carry me from the labor room bed to the delivery bed. Everyone was in the room, including my doctor, the anesthesiologist, the assisting nurse, the resident doctor. We were just waiting for my husband to get dressed up in scrubs.

Time check: 3am. The resident doctor told me to start pushing. “Curl your body forward and hold your breath while you push, and slowly exhale. End with a long, calming breath.” I did about five pushes and almost lost breath in the last two tries. My eyes were closed every time. That’s why when baby was out at 3:36am and was lifted up high right in front of me crying loud, I couldn’t help but also cry like a baby with tears just flowing from my eyes nonstop. It was tears of joy. I made it again!

My husband cut the umbilical cord. After four minutes, the placenta was out. The medical staff cleaned the baby and did some checks while my doctor repaired muscles and performed the stitches on me. When baby was cleaned, a nurse placed her on my chest and we did our first skin-to-skin moment.

Recovery After Delivery

We were out of the delivery room at 4:46am and my baby and I were transferred to the recovery room where time blurs into a mix of check-ups, naps, and hospital noises.

The nurse said the estimated recovery time is 4-6 hours. I arrived at the recovery room first and had intermittent sleep. It was a whirlwind of pediatric checks, breastfeeding advice, and a ton of screenings for the little one. All the other laboring moms both in the high-risk pregnancy units and the ward haven’t delivered yet.

After three hours, I tried lifting up my legs and was happy that I already could. My heart rate and blood pressure were normal. Baby was also okay. She already peed and had good vital signs as well. Body temperature also was stable.

I was asked to try to stand and pee in the rest room. At first I felt super heavy and I saw some blinking lights when I closed and opened my eyes. I was happy I was able to pee and walked back to the hospital bed.

At that time, there were four moms who were wheeled in one by one to the recovery room. It was already 9am and I wanted to have breakfast. They served breakfast at 10am and I also had my first oral pain medication.

We should have already transferred to the private room but all private rooms were full. The nurse said that usual checkout time is 12pm but the room would only be available at around 1pm because it would be cleaned.

We waited some more and finally we got tagged for an available room at 2-2:30pm. I called my husband for admission since we couldn’t transfer without a relative who would have to sign the papers. There was no available helper to wheel us from the recovery room to the private room, so it was already 5pm when we finally came into our private haven.

Sacred Moments in our Private Haven

Our family arrived to visit us from around 7pm to 10pm. Everyone was so thrilled to see the baby.

On the next day, my baby’s pediatrician did some checks. The lactation nurse also arrived to guide me into latching and breastfeeding. Some nurses also came in to perform an ultrasound to the baby, newborn screening with blood extraction, screening for hearing and vision, and vaccination for the baby. Another nurse bathed the baby. We were all in good hands!

My obstetrician cleared me as well at 10am and said we could already be discharged and go home on the same day.

We signed the birth certificate and checked the statement of account and settled the hospital bill quickly. I even had a celebratory lunch prepared by the hospital’s in-house chef.

The return home, just a day after giving birth, marked the culmination of an intense yet gratifying experience. Before we left, St. Luke’s gave us a free baby stroller with a car seat. I felt delighted and surprised that it’s part of the freebie for the maternity package (available until December 31).

My husband pushed my wheelchair and the hospital staff carried our bags and items to the ground floor. We waited for our driver and were sent home shortly.

Finally, I was back to our room only one day after giving birth in the hospital. This time, I was already with our cute little baby, Rivia. This second pregnancy journey, from anxieties to elation, painted another vivid tapestry of resilience and the enduring power of bringing life into the world.