“Magic is believing in yourself, if you can do that, you can make anything happen.”
~Johann Wolfgang van Goethe~

Maybe so, but I think I would like luck and fate on my side, too.

There are days when I emerge from this thicket of self-doubt, scratched and bleeding searching for myself. It’s a dark hollow into which I think I see my fate carved into walls of mile-long grave of better judgment and best intentions: a mountain too high for this small me to climb.

For as long as I can remember, people in my stream of consciousness have held several occupations at once. When my mom is an accountant, she also dabbled in helping my dad do business—laising with clients and organizing delivery schedules, helping my grandfather translate Chinese to English documents and performing house chores (cooking, washing, ironing, cleaning–you name it).

During my early years in the university as an undergraduate, I know I had to keep up with my academic classes but aside from that, I had to have other things going on as “sidelines.”

Whether it was maintaining my regularization as a writer in our university paper, being an active officer in our college’s professional org, or participating in significant school events, extracurricular activities made me feel whole and elated as one productive achiever.

I’ve pretty much kept the same outlook when it comes to my own work and career: have as much on my plate as possible.

So, suffice it to say, whenever I feel lethargic and all I want to do is stay in bed and watch movies on my laptop while snacking along the way, I tend to feel guilty. Whenever I skip my to-do list, I experience some sort of existential inner debate. I can’t remember the last time I felt like I’m in one of those moments, though, because I know I can do things and finish them as planned at the end of every day even with occasional resting. (Slower-than-usual moments may be productivity boosts that’s just right around the corner.)

Right now I’m in the middle of active job-hunting (I haven’t yet decided to accept the existing job offer here) and enjoying being back to my dearest place {Manila, Philippines, home} and my dearest people who can just magically make me feel happy.


Health and technology freak. Food and lifestyle blogger with a large appetite for food and travel.

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.