Living in Singapore: Life So Far
I got my medical results only yesterday so my first day of work begins tomorrow, for the record. I’m so glad because what I have done lately was wait. And tomorrow, a new routine awaits: wake up at 6:30, take a bath, have a quick morning breakfast, take the MRT and transfer bus, work, have lunch, work, go home, have dinner, exercise, sleep and the chain of activities goes on.
Oh, with this tiring cycle, I feel like a caterpillar encrusted in honey-colored sap with sickly sweet, syrupy heat dripping from my ankles to earlobes, wrapped in gossamer, dangling from white bark branches, hibernating in my warm little cocoon—all in preparation to become a butterfly. For the moment, I’ll be enjoying the heat. This is me and my self-affirmation myself once again.
Tonight I’ve come down to a deeper realization: I have jumped down to a “rabbit hole,” and I did not consider the fact that “rabbits” scare me senseless. As I fall, I thought that maybe life isn’t so bad in an alternate reality, maybe it eases the pain of truly experiencing. Life has never seemed so simple, but my obsession has never seemed so consuming.
Everything is upside-down, but only those far, far beneath the surface can see. Only those who, too, have jumped can understand the complexity of this world. Thankfully, I have my housemates here who are supporting and guiding me with my concerns and out-of-the-blue questions.
I’m afraid to be lost in this convex world of mirrors—mirrors that do nothing but judge, and people who portray nothing but gluttony. If anything goes wrong, at least I know how to climb my way back out. But then again, I was the one who jumped here to begin with. So who am I to complain?
Eating the wrong cake will cause dreaded expansion, whereas drinking could cause imminent demise. Everybody would have their own poison. Time is the deciding factor, and numbers have taken the place of the hole inside our souls. I hope everything works out fine tomorrow, the day after and weeks forward until I finish my goal here and go back home onward and outward.
When there are heavy rains, God, please remind us to bring a better umbrella.