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Author: Rochkirstin Santos-Sioco

  • Celebrating My Parents’ 23rd Wedding Anniversary

    Celebrating My Parents’ 23rd Wedding Anniversary

    Dum dum dum dum…

    “You complete me.”

    I have no doubts that the scriptwriter of Jerry MacGuire has had a finger in many failed relationships all over the world. What is it about us humans that crave completion from outside ourselves? Why do we burden another person with the expectation of filling the void within us that we somehow cannot fill on our own? I guess it’s just humans’ inane nature.

    Most people, amidst living in an emotional state, would sense that there’s some missing part who’s out there in some place, spinning through the universe in the form of another person. People would also be born believing that if only they searched relentlessly enough, they might someday find that vanished half, that other soul. Through union with the other, they would re-complete their original form, never to experience loneliness again.

    This is the singular fantasy of human intimacy: that one plus one will somehow, someday, equal one and that each of us can potentially have a perfect partner sewn into our skin and make us quite whole and blissfully happy.

    But fantasies don’t belong in the real world and so we keep on searching for that one perfect relationship. And more often than not, we wind up hurt and bitter because no one seems to be able to complete us in exactly the way we want.

    So many complicated angles, emotions and thoughts, decisions, events, talks and relationships—ah, that’s love life. So many have been there and like fools, keep coming back for more, like in a revolving door—despite previous heartaches and keloidal battle scars. And I am just truly honored to witness how THE search for the completion has transformed from fantasy to reality, from selfishness to sacrifice, from refusal to responsibility, from abstract to the simple and sentimental, from mere connectivity to love.

    Celebrating My Parents’ 23rd Wedding Anniversary

    Yesterday, we celebrated the 23rd wedding anniversary of my parents in Eastwood Cafe, Richmonde Hotel. Original date is February 21, but because I could not attend on that day, we did it in advance. It’s not just love life; it’s married life that we’re celebrating.


    Married life is more than love adjustments and understanding. It’s greater than just being husband and wife, mommy and daddy. It’s getting through the needle of marriage, keeping the love in the relationship burning alive with all that jazz despite adversities through the years, and not just holding on to the marriage for the sake of camaraderie or the children. I salute them for getting to live their fairy tale love story.

    I once asked Mom how she knows she loves Daddy. She answered,

    when she cares for him more than herself, when her happiness is his happiness, when she accepts everything that’s him and when she thinks if he’s not worth the time, then nothing else is.

    Well said.

  • What Does it Mean to Be Chinese?

    What Does it Mean to Be Chinese?

    Before anything, I’d like to greet everyone a happy Chinese New Year! 恭喜發財！萬事如意。年年有餘。新年快樂！:-)


    And yes, I’m Chinese (naturalized Chinese-Filipino), not Korean, Japanese, Thai, Taiwanese or whatever you think I look like. :))

    Why my surname is Santos is an overrated question. Here’s the story, from what I know: My grandfather and his father came to the Philippines from Fujian (厦门， 福建), China in the 1940s when they decided to turn a new leaf in their lives and make trading as a business here.

    In some unfortunate circumstance, my great grandfather lost his re-entry permit to the Philippines, leaving my grandfather alone in this foreign country thus becoming an immigrant settler with nothing but his dream of continuing to live with strength and dignity.

    Life was extremely hard for him, I imagine. In his teens, he sold taho (Chinese mongo bean jelly or meal with syrup) and peanuts as a street vendor under the excruciating heat of the sun, walking by the same vicinity every day.

    One pleasant afternoon, a strike of luck came across, and he was hired as an assistant in a warehouse / small enterprise selling auto parts. Because of hard work, trust was bestowed upon him and the Chinese-Filipino family who owned the warehouse adopted and treated him as a member of their household.

    In 1974, President Marcos relaxed the naturalization policy and many Chinese in the country were able to become Philippine citizens. It was during this time that my grandfather has become a naturalized Filipino citizen and opted to change his surname from Chiongpico to Santos to give due credit to the Santos family who raised him and gave him the opportunity to build his own business for the first time.

    From Eng Kiam Pak, he registered for a Filipino name which is Jose Santos, Sr. (my father being the junior). Years after, he met my grandmother and got married. How their love story blossomed, however, is up to now, unknown to me (it might have been pre-arranged following the tradition).

    My maternal grandparents, on the other hand, came from Guangdong (九龙，廣東) province in China and also moved in the Philippines during the 1940s. They did not change citizenship and kept their family name, hence keeping the surname Chin.

    What does it mean to be Chinese? Living in the Philippines, being Chinese can be a down or up, a debit or credit on our life ledger: being a minority race, having an unique culture and living up to certain stereotypes. It’s as if I am caught between two different worlds (experiencing a sense of “twoness”).

    Nevertheless, I do appreciate who I am and where my ancestors came from; I embrace my Chinese heritage as one that was born from a great civilization and also one that highly values education and progress.

    ℒℴve ♡❤❤ Happy New Year ❤❤♡ ℒℴve ♡
    祝 ┏┯┓┏┯┓┏┯┓┏┯┓┏┯┓┏┯┓♥(\ /)
    福 ┠恭┠┨賀┠┨新┠┨年┠┠快┨┠樂┨ღ( . .)ღ
    您┗┷┛┗┷┛┗┷┛┗┷┛┗┷┛┗┷┛c(”)(”)

  • Still Game.

    It’s already February, and I’ve lost track of time. Time makes no sense in all of this; that is, the way it passes. It’s Tuesday; I thought it was Wednesday.

    This is the effect of me being jailed in the four corners of my room. But staying here is not tantamount to losing productivity. This week, I have updated my resume once again, organized the required documents, started job hunting online—and in addition—finding a new and cheaper room to stay in (because I have been notified that the room I was supposed to be renting became unavailable). Why, life is divine chaos. And I’m embracing it.

    Two days ago, Mom told both my father and mother-side relatives about my planned journey and invited them to a farewell party in our house on February 12, 2011. They all wished me good luck and gave me the usual words of comfort for support, just like what everyone else did.

    In return, I confirm with confidence, “Yes, I can do it!” It was only yesterday that it began to sink in—the thought that I’ll be the moving to a foreign place soon, a place I have never been even in my late-night dreams. I felt a somewhat inescapable feeling propelling me to breathe hard to soak the expectations all in.

    Sometimes I close my eyes and tell myself one thing: please, hold on. This is just one of those times. I am feeling anxious, and nervous, and excited, like a volcano simmering in the very tiny capillaries of the arches of my feet and slowly, s l o w l y, rising up into the kneecaps and hip bone sockets and pelvic cavities and abdomen, and singeing the wings of the thrashing damselflies and butter wings hibernating there.

    I won’t back out, of course. Each person on this planet can make a difference, we believe. But it takes a genuine soul to take the very first baby step that would make the actual difference.

    I’m making this happen not for myself in whole actuality but for my family. For the record, I decided to leave because of the unsatisfactory compensation I was receiving from my most recent employer, apart from my goal to graduate from being an employee and the urgent temerity of wanting to grow more—gaining more enhanced and technical experience in the corporate world and living independently from my parents in some place away from the physical home (where everything I need is provided instantly like magic).

    I’d like to prove that the synonym of the very fiber of my being is patience—in striving for what I projected should be achieved and in getting the hard-earned results by my own perseverance.
    …

    Another company has called me today for an interview. But I’m not there yet! So I asked for it be rescheduled on the day after my arrival. Three other companies have responded to my application, and I said the same thing. I probably should pause shortly and resume sending out my CV next week.
    …

    Mom bought us web cameras and a microphone for the desktop. We’ll trying them out later.

    Toodle-oo!

  • Here Comes the Fashion Police

    Here Comes the Fashion Police

    Raise your hand if you think you’re fat.

    Most women I know think they look fat—even those who do exercise routines and are on some diet and who wear size small in clothes. For those who are constantly trying to struggle with losing weight (and like me, scared of gaining love handles), I have good news to share with you. No, this isn’t going to be another health-related or body-building article. This is about fashion.

    Every day I observe how ordinary people in the streets wear their clothes. I found that no matter how many clothing stores and high-end fashion lines today are emerging like mushrooms and reality TV shows showing tips on what to wear to complement and butter up one’s body, the common people still prefer to be “practical.” They normally just are clad with a plain T-shirt as top and denim jeans as bottom regardless if they look outrageously podgy.

    What we wear speaks for us. Does this imply that these people I see in pacific thoroughfares wearing unflattering clothing don’t really care whatever or however they seem or appear to be? Oh well, the high-fat look is already their usual getup. But hey, if you’re the type who cares about your image, you have to be more careful and responsible in how you choose and wear your clothes. Yes, you can look thinner throughout the day without surgery or drastic diet. The trick: fashion.

    From various people I have “scrutinized” and books and magazines I have read for improving the way of dressing up, I have learned the following things:

    Anything of the same color for the top and the bottom is absolutely a no-no, unless you really want to stand out and look ridiculous. For example, shocking pink shirt with pink pants, or striking red blouse with red leggings. Oh! Hot…not.

    Have a wide face? Pass up skinny brows that make the face look bigger. For eyewear, sport rectangular frames instead of round and square ones. For other accessories, shun away from dangling earrings. Instead, go for medium-sized, teardrop or stud earrings and long pendant necklaces with a big charm that doesn’t rest on the top of your chest.

    On the heavy side? Big sweater, pleated skirt, balloon skirt and sweat pants make you look flabbier and frumpier. Your shirt or sweater should reflect your true size, not a size or two larger. Excuse yourself from shirts with round collars, giant hoop earrings or a thick headband, or anything that has teeth, claws or looks like it belongs to a Christmas tree.

    Have a heavy top? Trash those bulky, across-the-body messenger or shoulder bags. Say goodbye to super voluminous tops that fit for maternity wear. Baby-doll dresses that try to hide the stomach are best left to kids. These types of blouses can more often than not make you look like you’re really pregnant. Also, avoid shirts with patch pockets and never wear anything turtleneck.

    Have a cheeky face? Long, flowing layered hair with side-swept bangs gives the illusion of a slimmer visage.

    Have a Buddha belly? Try to fit in a dress with an empire cut. This is because trendy silhouette creates higher waistline. To hide a wide tummy, wear lean jeans, slim pants or pencil skirt. Avoid wearing high-waist or thick waist-cinching belt that will only accentuate your tummy.

    Have batwing arms? V-neck tops with three-fourth sleeves are best for you. Instead of a boxy blazer, go for a cropped jacket. Trade a denim jacket with a motocross jacket, and don’t even consider wearing a top with cap, puff or worse, banded sleeves.

    Have thunder thighs? Please avoid wearing skinny jeans, especially when tucked in boots or paired with flats and espadrilles. Also, avoid cargo pants and peasant skirts that tier across the hips, tulip and trumpet skirts, pleated skirts and pants, micro-minis and shorts. Wide-leg pants, pencil skirts and wrap dresses that end just below the knee can make you look polished.

    Fashion can be everything—it’s a way of life. Through a mix of pieces hither and thither, you can make things possible. If you’re fat, you can look thinner and the reverse is also true. We live in a time now when fashion is part of our daily lives and fashion with all its fabulous guises taking center stage.

    So before you take that doorstep to the outside world, make sure to go by these general guidelines at least and follow not what’s in but what’s in and fitting for you.

  • The Universe is Friendly

    The Universe is Friendly

    Sometimes we go through random pauses. When this happens, we not only start to think, but we also start to feel not just normal classified emotions, but emotions that we can’t think of words for.

    Sometimes we spend time trying to describe the emotion to others, only to have it describing something else—because the emotion we have and the thought we have go together to ourselves but not to other people.

    Why do we sabotage ourselves and keep these feelings inside? Maybe because we’re too scared to know what others might think of us, or we’re not ready to face the resulting circumstances that would emerge once our thoughts come into public.

    Conversely, we wish that somehow we could touch others and they would fully experience what we are feeling. We wish to have someone to understand it. Maybe it would calm us down. Sometimes there is nothing, so we just wallow and wait for the emotion to pass. Then there are times by some chance when someone is going through the same thing at the exact same time; that is if we are lucky, because the best thing we can have at a time like this is someone who understands.

    Last night, Louie and I had a long, dead serious conversation about stuff that concerns us. For what was expected to be an ill outcome from a decision, all became well.

    Photo credit:　Ｊｅａｔｔｅ　Ｇｏ

    We’ve agreed to share problems right away for better understanding and settlement of good grounds and stop walking just around to avoid getting “bruises and scars” but go through the process of healing them. At this point, I’ve realized more that safe isn’t really safe after all. Unresolved feelings are like a brick wall around life—and that wall is stopping many wonderful experiences.

    Not to go into the granular details: no masks, no shields, we’ll go into a trail, a big and powerful step for positivity. We’ve affirmed to keep strong trust, faith, commitment, guidelines and communication. For one, I believe everything would work if we put the time and effort into making it work.

    Half the fun is taking risks and seeing if they pay off. And second, as Dr. Phil says,

    “If you’re in love with somebody, you will swim the stream, you will climb the mountain, you will slay the dragon…”

    Sometimes we go through random pauses. We should take advantage of these short breaks to highlight and discuss things that matter and even don’t matter much but we feel they’re right to dole out. We’ll see the imperfections, alright. But more importantly, we can search for ways to make up for them. Hey, the universe is friendly.

  • My Bedtime Pals

    My Bedtime Pals

    Let me introduce to you my bedtime pals, from left to right, top to bottom.

    Here we go:

    1. Bongga – a donkey who’s the best friend of Cheffe; bought in Baguio

    2. Pulley – Pooh (face with no body); given by Willy

    3. Lamian and Tang – a rabbit who has faces both front and back; bought in China

    4. Bread – the violet gingerbread man; bought in Baguio

    5. Momo – white mouse; given by Mom as my sister’s high school graduation gift

    6. Misces Potts – violet mouse; given by Mom for my 21st birthday

    7. Doo Ling – brown bear who’s the best friend of Pulley; given by Aunt Bibi from Hong Kong

    8. Ujm – white sheep; given by Louie from New Zealand

    9. Mangga – mango who’s the best friend of Bani; bought in SM

    10. Mash – white jellyfish who’s a cousin of the three mousekeeteers given by Vinnie from Hong Kong

    11. Octi – violet octopus who’s the little sister of Mash; given by my sister from MNL Ocean Park

    12. Cheffe – the ultimate huggable chef; bought in Baguio

    13. Piglet – Piglet of Winnie the Pooh; given by Aphu

    14. Timmaya – large brown bone pillow; given by my team mates in IBM for my 21st birthday

    15. Dodsy – pink mouse; given by my godmother for my 1st birthday

    16. Bani – banana who’s the best friend of Mangga; bought in SM

    17. Shrimpy Spinach or Shrimpach – white duckling who’s the boyfriend of Octi; bought in Baguio

    Yesterday, Dad arranged them so well that I was prompted to take a picture of them. For sure, I’ll miss every one. I’ll only be bringing Dodsy with me because it is she that I hug when asleep together with Eyen and Flammy, two pillows I have since I was a baby.

    Forgive me for being this childish but my stuffed animals are like my babies. I name them and talk with them. These little dolls are like millions of fans screaming my name as I walk on to “that stage with the lights”—or in real world scenario—as I come home. How?

    My sister, Leigh, is the one controlling them with a baby’s voice. She’s the one who infuses a big fantasy world we escape into when we’re stressed out living the real. My role is to act as Achi Bert who’s the big sister in the whole “bed” neighborhood we call the Apple Street.

    Why am I saying this? I wanted to post a memorable picture of them ’cause I won’t be seeing them for a long while. But more than that, I guess it’s to express that sometimes, life is full of drama that we have to deal with things in low spirits.

    Playing with dolls is one of my outlets of releasing madness and a way to stay connected with the little girl inside me. It’s a fun fair; it’s like magic. If we have these small little “creatures” to play around [and a sister or a friend who can make them “talk”], we can regard them more as a balm to soothe our wounds or sought them as a lifeline to save us from drowning.

  • Aphu: Another Year Older

    Aphu: Another Year Older


    73.

    That was the number placed on Aphu’s birthday cake in her birthday celebration last night. Aphu, by the way, is what we call Grandmother in Cantonese.

    At 73, Aphu has garnered quite an accomplishment as she’s still considerably strong, in good mental and physical health apart from diabetes and minor heart disease. She has dearly loved my grandfather whom she had bore eight children with, and now she has 16 grandchildren.

    Inspired by her glowing presence, I started thinking what my life would be like when I’m old and wrinkly. I wondered if I myself could live up to that age—

    Who will I be married with? Who will be my loyal friends? Will I even have friends by that time? What about my children? Will I have the chance to read back my teenager kinda letters or maybe show them to my future generation as I think they wouldn’t know what snail mail is about next time? Will my children or grandchildren take care of me?

    In some other families I know of and see, life is miserable for old people. Some of these old fellows, without anyone to turn to, either work still in monetary need or work to keep themselves from going senile.

    Well, I don’t know but I guess when I’m old I want to lie on the beach every day and read books and drink a lot of virgin mojito in a bikini. Haha. That’s not me on the picture, indeed, but you get the point. I want to enjoy what’s left of my life, not working some menial labor, and live it together with my loved ones—ike Aphu, or even better.

    On a parallel plane, yesterday, while I was on the bed watching Wish Ko Lang with my parents in quiet, I have just imagined living without them. Breaking up my own bubble thoughts, to Mom, I joked, “You’re for real?!” and touched her face. And then I pondered upon the question, “If I could spend the rest of eternity in one moment, which moment of my life would I choose?”

    There was no debate, no questioning involved, the moment was chosen in my mind.

    But let’s face it: Common knowledge says that moments don’t last. Even if they seem to stretch out to eternity, a moment is just a moment. So even though we’ll never be able to spend the rest of our lives in one moment, we can do everything in our power to repeat that moment over and over again.

    Barring that, we can sear the image of that moment in our mind and cling to it like a castaway clinging to a piece of driftwood. For only that kind of moments, the ones that take our breath away and make us want to experience them forever, make life worthwhile.

    Come now, smile. Pinch yourself and you know you’re alive—to make more of those moments and so will I.

  • Ready? OK. —Dary!

    If you’re wondering what the title above means, read the “prequel” here.

    Moving on, I thought I’d post this sometime next week but with the influx of questions coming in and the persistent smell of curiosity, I shall now declare what I’m up to in the next few weeks:

    1. I’ll leave IBM on January 20, 2011 (no more extensions, even if there’s no back-fill yet found for my position).
    2. I’ll take LTO’s practical and written licensing exams for non-professional drivers.
    3. I need to pass those exams to get my driver’s license on January 21, 2011.
    4. I’ll get my driver’s license before I leave…
    5. I’ll be leaving the country for better opportunities.
    6. I’ll be flying to Singapore on February 16, 2011.

    I’m all prepped up and I’m ultra excited—for all life is a journey and I like to keep moving.