Many were born with a chip in the head that says: “You must be liked by everyone and accepted by all.”
Of course for those of us who work a program strongly and are spiritually fit, we get to a point where we let go LITERALLY of all of that. It no longer matters if we’re accepted; it only matters if we love ourselves and act accordingly to others. Align with this, I suddenly remember my e-mail signature for all time in college:
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” – Dr. Seuss
We all belong and we all are accepted on earth, it’s just a matter of us seeing it and believing it. And seeing and believing in this is hard, I know. It’s even harder for me this week when I have encountered a big problem with my clients at work. But eventually, at the end of the work day, by God’s grace perhaps, we understood our states and acted upon our misses to resolve the issues at hand.
I confess that many times these past two weeks I thought I cannot continue doing what I’m doing. But through my friends’ and families’ moral support, I keep holding on. I also confess that I cried one too many times not because I felt so much stressed and didn’t know what to do but because I felt so much blessed.
During mornings when I listen to inspiring podcasts in the train, tears well up my eyes thinking of happy memories. I talk to myself—revealing pain, remembering love, sharing my personal ghosts as I move a step further into the next challenge.
These are the moments when I wanted to burst, to disperse into trillions of atomic, microscopic pieces; these are the times when I felt I would be so minuscule that when you (secret certain person) decide to lash out on me again, I’ll be more together than I am now.
To all those concerned, I got two words: Thank you.
In any case and anyway, I thought people don’t want their lives fixed. Nobody wants their problems solved. Their dramas. Their distractions. Their stories resolved. Their messes cleaned up. Because what would they have left? Just the big scary unknown.
Note to self:
Put one foot in the past, one foot in the future and your heart in the present, so you can see what you’ve been, where you want to go and what’s really best for you. Keep moving.
You’ll be fine. 🙂