Another page has turned on the calendar, June now, not May. Mental stress? It’s an unwelcome visitor but in this busy corporate world, we can’t help to have it come by. Now I’m walking down the line that divides me somewhere in my mind.

In this story of my life, I am the protagonist. I am the hero. I am every lesson I’ve ever learned and the finish line of every race. I am laughs that make stomachs ache, rainbows after storms and the overwhelming relief of crying out sorrows. I am getting the right answer after trying, trying, [endless] trying without giving up. I am on the inside of an inside joke and outside the boundaries of reality. I am sunflowers and daisies and birdsong on a spring breeze. I am the helping hand and the shoulder to lean on. I am the cheerleader, the coach, the team player and the water girl. I am the sunrise as well as the sunset. I am the magic that sparks like electricity in the atmosphere.

In this story of my life, I am the antagonist. I am the villain. I am the obstacles to overcome and the tears cried in vain. I am the slump of shoulders in defeat. I am every mistake I’ve ever made and every regret that fights off sleep. I am droughts and floods and earthquakes. I am the foot subtly stuck out to trip. I am tangled lies and twisted tongues. I am the snake hiding in the grass waiting, waiting, waiting to strike. I am termites feasting on destruction. I am forgetting lines, dates, pants. I am an all-nighter for an assignment due last week. I am the shame in giving up and the weight of the world. I am the ghost. I am the monster. I am the terror that sends chills racing down spines.

In this story of my life, I am the extras. I am watching it all pass from the sidelines. I am the overlooked, the unheard and the never-before-seen. I am the heat waves shimmering above hot asphalt and the balloon riding the wind. I am the space between then and now. I am a placeholder. I am windblown hair. I am the stand-in just famous enough to be ignored. I am the shadow. I am the reflection. I am the tick, tick, ticking of the clock in the background.

In this story of my life, I am me.

But here’s where the lines blur: Do you ever wonder about how much of us are we and how much is based on other people? Like what parts of our personality would be the same no matter what place and time we were born into and which parts developed because of the environment we found ourselves in?

Do personality traits that are completely us, unadulterated by any outside forces, exist? Is everything we are based off of who we know, what we’ve seen and where we’ve been?

After all, do you think this makes any difference? Me neither.

June has 30 days. Each day can bring us one step closer to our goal, or push us one step back. We have 30 chances to fail, or to succeed. Let’s succeed—page by page, pound by pound.


Health and technology freak. Food and lifestyle blogger with a large appetite for food and travel.

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20 Responses

  1. Franc Ramon

    I guess we are all heroes in our own life but we should live it as our own story to tell and others are just there to add spice to your story. By the way, I like how you wrote this one.

    • Rochkirstin Santos

      Thanks, Franc. This is again one of the moments where I contemplate about the time spent at my daily activities during weekdays. I conclude that I can’t do anything to lessen the number of hours and minutes for showering (30m), eating meals (120m), traveling to work and back to home (90m), and working in the office (615m). Thus the only remaining things I can control are recreation (105m) which involves blogging, web surfing, watching TV programs and playing games, and sleeping (480m).

      Question or the point is, how do I turn all these moments into something productive and how do I make the most out of my existence. ❓

  2. joy | chemist2writer

    Yes, sometimes, our lives area really influenced by other people. Many aim to please other people and their lives shaped by what others think. Me? ah I don’t care what others think. I live my life as I please.

    • Rochkirstin Santos

      Haha 😀 Sometimes I feel exactly the same way — not caring about how others think. But there was one person who made me perplexed on that idea. So right now I think it’s safe to be in the middle. Care but not care too much.

  3. Mai

    This was deep yet very enlightening. Somehow, in the way our lives go — we will always see ourselves in a different way, no matter what time or space where in. But at the end of it all, striving to be a better person is what really counts. Indeed “Let’s succeed—page by page, pound by pound.”

  4. marri

    I felt the depth of this post as I felt the depth of your personality. You are what you are and you can be who you can be. LIFE is a matter of choice… between GOOD and BAD, STRAIGHT and CROOKED but we will never succeed if we don’t know how it is to be DEFEATED.

  5. Dust

    Awesome. “In this story of my life, I am me.” We make our own choices and we live up what we chose. Nice post! 🙂

  6. serene shikukeza

    I guess we have all the same characters in our story we are all protagonists, antagonists and extras. It will only depend on what kind of life we chose to live and what kind of outcome we expect in return as we live our lives everyday.

    Nice composition here.

  7. PinayMom

    just be true to yourself. you don’t need to live a pretentious life.

    btw, nice post! i can’t write like you do. keep it up!

  8. papaleng

    I am who I am, and that is the product of hard work and sheer determination. But before closing my eyes for a goodnight sleep, I am King Solomon


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